She – A Powerhouse To Influence The Tomorrows!

Dear Readers,

It’s International Women’s Day again, the time of the year when we celebrate the women around us, appreciating their power, their efforts, applaud them for multi-tasking and making lives simple for everyone around them. It is the time of the year when each women is represented as Shakti, the ultimate power, depicted as the modern day Durga with her 10 hands, each holding to either a baby, a spatula, an ironing rod, a book and so on. People working in Corporate wish their female peers, send out those ‘you rock’, ‘you mean the world to us’ cards and mailers, cut a huge cake, share pictures in Instagram and Facebook appreciating the women, showing-off that their Company is all about diversity & inclusion. As a women, I must say, I feel special on that day. The day where the world acknowledges me, appreciates my efforts and ensures that I am a part of it, the other pedal to balance the wheel of life. It feels good, isn’t it?

Then comes the next day, the dreadful times begin, where most of us are belittled, criticized to the minutest mistake and left to fend for ourselves. The Durga image is immediately forgotten and replaced by a creature unsure of itself, still with 10 hands each holding a chore that she must do from dawn till midnight. I know that many of us don’t resonate to it, since women are accomplishing in every field and are standing equal to a men. I am sure there will be some great statistics too. Well, kudos to these women to adding upto the statistics. Many of us try and uplift each other too. Another effort to be applauded. But today, I am here to talk about those women who are left behind still awaiting their moment of recognition and praise.

You might ask me, ‘Who is stopping them?’ or ”What is holding them back?’. As much as I would like to answer the question right away in a simple manner, I want you all to read and ponder on the answer yourselves. Let me share with you few scenarios within a mother-daughter relationship, MIL-DIL relationship and lastly ‘women-women relationship’.

Mother – Daughter Relationship

Scenario 1:

“I was never allowed to go out for picnics when I was in school. How can I let you on a trip to Ladakh with your friends. Till the time you are unwed, you are my responsibility. You can do whatever you want after marriage.’

Scenario 2:

“Don’t be ridiculous. You are married now. How can you go on a trip with your friends? Who will take care of your husband and family? Don’t you think you have a responsibility? Try planning a family instead, it is your duty to bear children and grow your family. I have a better idea, go to Ladakh with your husband!”

Scenario 3:

“I know how much you enjoy travelling. So speak with your husband. You are my child and I am here to support you with your dreams. Let him know that life is all about exploration and experiences. Your dreams and wishes matter too and it is your right to make it come true. Let him know that only when your happy from within, you can radiate it in others. I am sure he will understand. Maybe the next time you guys can plan it together to start the family way”.

MIL – DIL Relationship

Scenario 1:

“Hmmm, you are a part of this family now. You will be cleaning, cooking and maintaining the house from now on. You don’t have to think too much about bringing your ways into my home. I will let you know how we like things here. Everyday you will cook what MY SON, my husband, my daughter and I like.”

Scenario 2:

“Now that you are here, I am so relieved. You will take care of MY HOUSE, MY SON and the rest of us. Of course, you can go to work and earn, we respect Goddess Lakshmi a lot, but you should not have to give anything to your parents. I am sure they can fend for themselves. Always remember since YOU LIVE in MY HOUSE, okay?”

Scenario 3:

“I am so happy that you are our family now. Let us both try to learn about each other and adjust whenever & wherever it is necessary for the smooth functioning of all our lives. Till now, this house has seen and felt my touch, but remember this home is as much as yours as it is mine. So, let us together cook, clean and have fun. I know you are working and have been supporting your house, please continue doing it. This marriage should not put an end to it. Go out with your friends, meet your parents and siblings. You are a part of this family, but above all you are a person with feelings and emotions. And if you face any problems, I am here to listen and support you no matter what. We all belong together.”

WOMEN – WOMEN

Scenario 1:

“Oh, that is such a short skirt with an off-shoulder top. I wonder how your mother allows you to wear this, I am so ashamed that she raises you so modern without instilling any values or culture.

Scenario 2:

“Look at you just beginning your journey as a mother. I am sure you don’t know anything. I will teach you everything since I have experience. You just do whatever I say, don’t listen to what the doctor or the internet says. JUST LISTEN AND DO WHAT I SAY!”

Scenario 3:

“You are being unnecessarily patient with them. I am a mother of two and I know that children like these only listen if they get a whack. They need to be disciplined. With your parenting style, I wonder how they would grow up to be!”

Scenario 4:

“Ah, I hate her; she doesn’t talk much, so uptight about everything. But everyday, she works for an extra hour. She must be trying to impress the manager and grab the promotion opportunity. And also, maybe she doesn’t have a family to take care and can afford spending time in office. Anyways, I don’t like her, so who cares?”

Scenario 5:

“She is always complaining about her family. Our husbands don’t help us at home too, but we don’t whine like her. And if taking care of a child is such a burden, why did she go for it? She is so spoilt and such a sympathy-seeker. Let us just stay away from her.”

Scenario 6: A compilation

“Wow, you look so dazzling in this skirt and what a fabulous top too! I could never pull off such modern looks, but I am sure you get your confidence from your beautiful mother.”

“Look at you, all set to begin your motherhood journey. I know being a parent is a daunting task, nevertheless, a rewarding one too. I can share my experiences, but always trust your instincts. Listen to your child’s doctor and elders but do what you think is good for the child. Remember you are the best mother to your child. I am here when you need me.”

“Wow, you are so patient with your children. I am a mom of two boys but I tend to loose my cool so quickly. I have so much to learn from you. I am sure your kids are going to compassionate when they grow up!”

“Hi there, I work at that cubicle and I have seen that you don’t talk much. But, I have seen you putting so much hardwork into your job, that’s commendable. I would like to be your friend, if you don’t mind. Let me know whenever you need an extra hand okay?”

“Let us go and talk to her. She seems to so upset and tired. Poor thing, she slogs in the office and at home. Her husband doesn’t help her, neither does mine, but having a toddler in addition can be so tough. I am going to take her for a coffee and lend my shoulder to her. She might feel so much better in letting off some steam!”

CONCLUSION

Writing the first two scenarios for Mother-daughter relationships, MIL-DIL relationships, the first five scenarios for women-women relationships came naturally to me as these are the incidents or experiences we have all undergone in our life. It is a sad realization that, even before men could belittle us and treat us like a doormat, most of the times it is us ‘the women’ who pave a way for it consciously or sub-consciously.

The third scenarios for the mother-daughter, MIL-DIL relationships were not only tough to imagine but gave me goosebumps in just thinking ‘what if we all experienced this?” Scenario 6 is a compilation of ‘what could be’ if all the women we meet are compassionate and kind to one another. A world were each of us are considerate, kind and gracious accepting the fact that we women are indeed a force to be reckoned with and treat each other with more humility. Afterall, a simple way to show that ‘I support you no matter what’, feels so comforting and leaves one with assurance and trust.

I believe that even though it is important to celebrate days like these, it is more important to remember that each one of us are equal and empowered in our own ways. Each one of us only need that small nudge to grow and shine. A compassionate, kind and accepting women can raise a child right thereby influencing her family’s coming generation.

It is this women that I long to be, it is this women that I want my sons to know and remember, it is this women that my husband must know and acknowledge, it is this women that I want to be recognized as, for all we know that it is this women who lives ‘Women’s Day Everyday!”

For ‘SHE IS THE POWERHOUSE TO INFLUENCE THE TOMORROWS!’

This blog post is part of the Women’s Day Blog Hop, themed on She: A Tribute to Her, hosted by Swarnali Nath